March 30, 2004
While You Were Sleeping...
Why is this morning different from every other morning? I'll tell you why. It's 7:15 a.m., and there's baseball on! That's right, the Devil Rays are playing the Yankees live from Japan in the 2004 season's first game.
You wanna know what the best thing about baseball at 5 a.m. is?
You can wake up and watch it! In the words of Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman -- WHOOO-WAAAHHHH! Seriously, what a deal! Convenient for fans who don't have to go to work until 9 a.m. -- they can just roll out of bed after getting four hours of delirious sleep, watch three hours of baseball, and then sprint off to work for what will certainly be an unusually productive day. And for all of you who always complain about baseball playoff games being on too late at night so that younger fans can't stay up and watch them? Well, I hope you rustled your kids out of bed today at 4:30, because this was for you! This way your kids don't have to stay up late. Put 'em to sleep at 6 p.m. and they'll be fully rested by the time the Yankees game rolls around. What a deal for you, also. Once they're asleep, you can go out with your buddies and paint the town red...unless, of course, you wanted to watch the game, in which case you should probably go to sleep also. Yes, right now. And no, you may not have dessert -- it will keep you awake. Sorry to get your hopes up.
-Matt Stroup Copyright ©2004 instant-replays.com
