Random Thoughts: Balls of Steel, Baseball Fortysomethings, and The Dad Shot
September 24, 2004
Back in April, I wrote a brief commentary on Dodgers' third baseman Adrian Beltre's reluctance to protect his gonads by wearing a cup. At the time, I found this completely inexplicable -- a professional baseball player who refuses to protect the crown jewels? Sheer idiocy, I declared.
But having watched Beltre play all season long, I understand it. Beltre need not guard his testes for one simple reason: the man has balls of steel. First, consider the fact that he's played through multiple injuries -- ankle, back, foot, side. But more impressively, he's played through those injuries hard. Despite bone spurs in his left ankle that have clearly made it painful for him to run, Beltre sprints down the line, even though he's limping like he's just been shot in the leg with a crossbow. While fighting all of those ailments, the 25-year-old has bashed 47 homers this year to establish himself as a legitimate MVP candidate.
Adrian, your blatant disregard for your own personal safety is forgiven. As far as I'm concerned, you can go commando style -- whatever gets the job done.
A few other random thoughts as baseball's regular season winds down:
-Has it ever been cooler to be in your 40's than it is now? Think about it. Two of the top Cy Young candidates in the National League -- Roger Clemens and Randy Johnson -- have crossed the border of thirty-nine. Braves' first baseman Julio Franco, at age 46, is lashing singles all over the yard to the tune of a .299 average. And Barry Bonds, two months to the day after his 40th, continues to be the most feared hitter in the game. Just incredible. Let us not forget that 42-year-old Kevin Willis made some headlines this week, signing a contract to return to the Hawks. Willis, of course, is nowhere near the top of his game, and truthfully, I only brought his name up to mention the sudden and ridiculous nostalgia the Hawks' front office seems to be suffering from. I mean, signing former Georgia Tech stars Jon Barry, Kenny Anderson and Willis all in the same week? It's too good (or horrible) to be true. Apparently, Jon Koncak and Alexander Volkov's phones were disconnected...
-And speaking of being in your 40's, I'd like to bring up a phenomenon I've never discussed before on this site, but have been meaning to do for some time. Can someone please explain to me why the majority of dads seem to shoot a basketball in the same unusual fashion? Ever seen it before? The awkward step forward, one leg planted too far in front of the other, the dipping of the ball down to chest level, the gentle push upward to the abbreviated follow through? (I have a sneaking suspicion that you have no clue what I'm talking about.) But regardless, you should -- the "Dad Shot" is a nationwide phenomenon. I've seen fathers practicing it in backyards all across America. Now, no one's ever accused me of having a textbook jumper, but mine is a far cry from being a Dad Shot. And I must admit, I find myself wondering if, and when, this bizarre affliction will some day take its hold on me. Will I, too, one day be hoisting that gawky and erratic jumper? Will my progeny one day look at me and wonder where I learned to shoot like that? Or will they just make fun of my really short shorts, bright yellow tank top and athletic socks with no elastic?
-Matt Stroup Copyright ©2004 instant-replays.com
