Last night I was watching the Portland-LA game when, on a relatively run-of-the-mill play Blazers guard Damon Stoudamire was driving baseline, momentarily lost control of the ball and then got it back. Upon seeing this play, the Lakers' announcer commented, "Stoudamire...almost a pass to himself, but they'll call that a muff."
Now, I apologize in advance if I'm being immature, but where I come from, one of the words used in that sentence carries a connotation that has very little to do with basketball, and I'm pretty sure the Lakers' announcer should know better than to say that on live television.
Although I wonder if he does. I find these days that there is a disturbing number of announcers who frequently let fly what seem to be accidental sexual innuendos during the course of a game. The most frequently abused without a doubt is the word "penetrate," which, I will admit, is frequently used to describe dribbling into the painted area in a basketball game, and I have no problem with that particular usage. I mean, it's one thing to say, "Stoudamire was able to penetrate the defense right there and kick it out for an open jumper." Even I'm mature enough not to giggle or think naughty thoughts when the word is used that way.
However, when I hear an announcer say "That's the deepest penetration the Giants have enjoyed all day," I become suspicious. And I bring up that particular usage because I've actually heard those exact words spoken before during a live broadcast of a Giants game. I wish it was just an isolated incident, but I cannot say that it is. The word is frequently used by sports commentators as if they have absolutely no idea that it had ever had a sexual connotation. And whlie I'd like to think that the announcers using such perverse vocabulary are simply too naive to know that what they're saying sounds absolutely ridiculous, I'm not quite convinced.
So next time you're watching an NBA or an NFL game and the announcer drops a "muff" or a "deep penetration" on you, listen closely. Are they secretely covering up their headsets and snickering uncontrollably at the fun they're having? Is their announcing gig in part just a chance to toy with the crowd -- a contest to see who can make the most clever sexual reference without getting busted? Or am I just really, really immature?
