Being that this is still technically a free country,it is my firm belief that every now and then, a sports writer should be allowed to branch out and discuss something that really has very little to do with sports at all. And since I recently saw the subject of this piece in a certain widely circulated sports periodical, technically I'm not even branching out from the world of sports. My subject is not a person, nor a place nor really even a tangible thing. It’s a phrase, and the moment I saw it as the title of an interview with Nuggets’ rookie Carmelo Anthony and rapper Jay-Z, I knew things had gone too far. The title of the piece was, “The Hook-Up.”
As you may or may not know, the phrase “hooking up” represents one of the most profound language-based misunderstandings of all time -- a clean divide between people in their 20’s and people who are in their 30's and beyond. You see, to someone in their 20's, the term “hooking up” means engaging in some kind of sexual activity with another person, often a random person you have never met before the occasion of said encounter. Perhaps in your time, person of age 30 or older, it had a much more innocuous meaning (namely, it meant “to meet up with someone”), but it does not mean that anymore, and I think I speak for just about everyone else under the age of 30 when I say, PLEASE STOP USING IT THAT WAY! I cannot tell you how unpleasant it is to hear you all misuse this phrase. Did I “hook up” with any of my old high school friends while I was back home on vacation? Absolutely not. That’s disgusting, and shame on you for being such a sicko. I hung out with my friends. Say it with me. “Hung out.”
I’m sorry, but there can be no negotiating on this one. In the case of the ‘Melo and Jay-Z piece I saw, I’m not sure what “The Hook-Up” was meant to signify, but I have to say, when I saw that title above the picture of the two of them standing somewhat awkwardly next to one another, I thought about some scenarios involving a certain NBA rookie and a multi-platinum recording artist that I did not want to have entering my mind. Do you see how problematic this is? I’ve actually been asked before by a friend of mine who’s in his late 30’s if I “hooked up” with my sister the last time I was in Boston. I harshly rebuked him for suggesting such an inappropriate scenario, but he meant nothing by it. His problem, like everyone else’s, is that the phrase is ingrained in his head from a time when it had a more innocent meaning. I understand that the more harmless connotation came first, but once the phrase has been perverted, there's no turning back. I know you're probably not too happy about having to change your ways, but I really can’t budge on this. There’s just too much at stake. As an easy alternative, may I suggest such phrases as “meet up,” “hang out,” or “spend time with?” If you would just use those unambiguous phrases instead, I think everyone would be a whole lot happier.
