For years, I have hated Roger Clemens. Actually, I should put that another way: I’ve despised him. To me, and I'd have to guess to countless others, Clemens has been one of baseball’s most terrible villains, if not its worst, mostly because of his on-field actions: the ever-present scowl; inexplicably picking up a shard of a broken bat and firing it like a ninja star at Mike Piazza; trying to use his 96 mph heat to tear the head off of any batter who failed to genuflect to Roger Clemens, Baseball Deity, before stepping into the batter’s box. Yup, in my mind, Roger Clemens has been the absolute worst: a sports villain so truly evil that it’s not even that much fun to hate him. And now that I think about it, I can trace my hatred of The Rocket back to an exact period of time. Basically, I’ve hated Roger Clemens since the day he joined the Yankees...
...until now. You see, yesterday, Roger Clemens spurned the mighty Yankees, canceling his retirement plans and deciding to pitch for the Astros. When I first heard that Clemens was coming back to pitch, I was surprised at my own reaction: I was happy. Being that I have disliked Clemens for so long, I didn't know why I was having this emotion about his decision to come out of retirement. Then, today, I saw the New York tabloids, and I suddenly understood my reaction. The Yankees' brass felt legitimately betrayed. The sports sections in today’s New York tabloids had Clemens on the front page, with headlines crying out “Traitor!” and labeling him “Roger the Rat.” Best of all, though, was the publicized reaction of Yankees' owner George Steinbrenner, the sports villain who, I have to admit, it is kind of fun to hate. Steinbrenner tried to be very diplomatic and noble, and though he attempted to take the high road, he stooped down for a moment and showed that he was clearly upset: "Roger Clemens was a great warrior for the Yankees -- a teacher and a leader," Steinbrenner was quoted as saying (this is the part where he's still on the high road). Now, he continues, "He told the world he was retiring, and we had no choice but to believe him." Reading that second part of the quote, do you detect it? Steinbrenner feels cheated and betrayed. Roger lied to us!
Well cry me a river, Georgie-boy. How you feel right now about Clemens is exactly how most baseball fans have felt about you and your stupid team for the past eight years. Seriously though, George. I really feel bad for you. Maybe if you stopped being such a meddling, overbearing asswad, classy guys like Andy Pettitte and Don Zimmer, and great pitchers like Clemens (note that I didn’t call him classy) would still be around. To me, this is almost as great as seeing the Yankees lose in the postseason the past three years. Steinbrenner, GM Brian Cashman and company are not simply mad. They feel as though one of their own children spat in their face. If you're an unabashed Yankee-hater like me, this is as good as revenge gets.
As a great wiseman once said, "Forsake not your enemy, for one day he may become your ally." While I reserve the right to change my mind the moment Clemens freaks out and tries to peg someone in the head with a fastball next season, for this day at least, no matter how hard it is to do so, I'll say it: bravo, Roger.
